| Rehearsal
Dinners
The rehearsal dinner is usually, although
not always, hosted by the groom’s parents. It can be as
formal or informal as the hosts choose. All adults in the
bridal party and their spouses should be invited. Junior
bridesmaids and ushers should also be invited (along with
their parents depending on their ages). Flower girls and
ring bearers may be invited, along with their parents but
this is optional depending on the age and manners of the
children and the type of dinner being offered. (Obviously,
very young children would be more comfortable at an early
picnic than at a late evening formal dinner in a gourmet
restaurant.) Parents are naturally part of the group and
grandparents are most often included as well. The officiant
and spouse are always invited, as a courtesy, although they
often decline to attend.
It is optional whether out of town relatives or other out
of town guests are invited. Just remember, if large numbers
of people are coming from out of town, it’s better not to
include them as it begins to look like a rehearsal of the
reception. If the rehearsal dinner will be at home, you
must include any guests who are staying there.
To avoid confusion, it’s best to send written invitations,
noting the time and place of the rehearsal and the time
and place of the rehearsal dinner. Responses should be required
so that the hosts know how many people are to be fed.
A rehearsal dinner may be given in a park, a family’s backyard,
a dining or family room or any type of restaurant, although
the most suitable restaurants should have a separate room
for the party to have privacy. The food may be home cooked,
catered in or provided by the restaurant. The menu can be
anything from hots and hamburgs to pizza to filet mignon.
However, you should always keep in mind the menu for the
reception the next day and stay away from having the same
items.
The bride and groom present their gifts to the members of
the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. It is also a
nice touch if they have gifts to present to their parents
as a thank you for their support – both economically and
emotionally. If the bride and groom have gifts for each
other they may choose to exchange them at this time, or
they may choose to do so privately.
This is the time to be sure everyone involved realizes that
the bride and groom are grateful for all their help and
support. Gifts should be attractively wrapped and have a
handwritten note attached expressing sincere appreciation
for whatever that person has done to help make the wedding
special.
It’s helpful to the bridal party to give any last minute
instructions to various individuals who have specific chores
for the next day. For instance, two of the ushers might
be assigned the task of directing those who are to receive
corsages or boutonnieres to stop and have them pinned on
before entering the church. Or someone might be given the
job of moving items from the church to the reception. The
maid of honor might be responsible for bringing the rings
to the church. Whatever the tasks, it’s good to be sure
everyone knows their assignments.
It’s a good idea to keep alcohol consumption to a minimum
as well as to make it an early evening so that everyone
looks and feels their best for the big day.
The bride and groom should remember to send a thank you
note to the hosts of this dinner, whoever they may be. This
should be done promptly, no longer than one month after
the dinner.
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